Sure Can Fuck One

Question: What happens when 2 risk lovers take a roll of the dice?

Went to KL with RuiYing last friday night for a "good time" with Herbal and Xmas in toll. The trip was pretty enjoyable - the usual good food, shopping, clubbing and massage.

But the hightlights were what happened in our adjoining rooms on the 2 nights after clubbing:

Friday:

4 of us were pretty smashed from the bottle of Hennessey at The Loft. When we reached the rooms, RuiYing and I split a V-Power. This was a mistake. RuiYing was in a ravenous mood. We managed to split the girls up; RuiYing getting frisky with Xmas and Herbal with me in the other room. In my mind, I knew it was just a matter of time. Hence, I prolonged the pre-sex and was savouring the moment (cause I know how sian I will be after the deed).

Suddenly, there was a knock on my door. Xmas came in, I knew it's game over, I had to go back to the Boy's Room. When I knocked on the door, RuiYing opened it and I had a shock!

He was wearing his skimpy underwear, only his skimpy underwear.

Bonnie: WTF???

RuiYing: I don't know leh....

Bonnie: ???

RuiYing: I was petting with her, she was moaning somemore....

Bonnie: And then?

RuiYing: Sekali, she say she go toilet..

Bonnie: And then?

RuiYing: I thought she go toilet to wash her cheebye.....so that I can lick....

Bonnie: And then?

RuiYing: So I take off my jeans, wait for her lor.....she came back and after hugging for awhile, just left.....

Bonnie: ............

RuiYing: Brother, you know my tighs how big right? You see my jeans how tight? The V-power make my brother no room to breathe!!!

Sat:

Another smaashed night after the Chivas at Mojo (fanatastic HipHop joint)

Again, we managed to split the girls, this time RuiYing was the good boy - only hug and snuggle because of Friday's fiasco.

This time, your father me am not going cock it up.

The frollicking was good, the teasing was good, her skin was even better...

Because, the adjoining door was opened, Herbal heard Xmas going to the toilet in the next room and decided to check on her. My cock was rock solid but he has to wait....

The next thing I knew, it was morning.....and my dick was suffering from Morning-Gloryitis...

It's ok, I told myself......Herbal is still on my bed......

I pretended to cover her with the blanket and maybe make my move later.

Something was not right....why does a girl snores so loudly???

Ganinabaychaocheebye!!!!!!!! It was RuiYing!!!!! I almost shoved my dicky into him!!!!!

Apparently, Herbal came back after checking on Xmas and I was fast asleep. RuiYing heard me snoring and came over to ask Herbal to swop rooms because he's afraid that she won't be able to sleep with my snoring........THANKS BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer: The risklovers lose their pants, exposing their swollen dicks

"What happens in KL, stays in KL"

"Brother, Pink Ones...."

Why do the best memories in life involves alcohol and sex?

Last night, between 6pm to 1130pm, Colleen, Erika, Stephanie and I went on a sexcapade rampage. Century KTV at Eminent Plaza must be, to quote Colleen, the best KTV (dirty type) that we've ever been. Relative cheap bottles + top notcho sweet little things = Super value

I've always thought that Viet girls are just so-so. Today, I'm a firm believer. Pretty, young, firm, slim, got ass, got neh neh and to top it off - they have pink ones. What more can 4 horny bastards ask for? A screw of course.

After the loin-stirring session at Century, we got our asses off to Area-G.

Lorong 6, House 66, Girl 12. Not too good looking, not too solid a body but when you are tipsy and horny - everything seems like a blast. Interestingly enough, Girl 12 likes to shag with Hip-Hop blasting from her sound system. It was challenging but I managed to get my load off eventually.

PS: in his drunken stupor, Colleen texted J (of R & Gang) and asked her to join us for MeiHwa's birthday bash. R, M, J and V have some sort of "unique" relationships with us and it might be "interesting" if they come. Finger-crossed that they don't.....

Please Leave After The Beep

Ladies, want to know how your man feel about you? Just drop him a line when you know he's on the phone. How he treats your call-waiting tells a lot:

STAGE 1: Cuts off his existing call and talk to you: Really likes you, just seeing your call makes his heart skips a beat. Also, you have probably not let him fuck yet.

STAGE 2: Put his existing call on hold, answers your call and tells you he'll return your call later: He still likes and respect you but his heart no longer skips. He has probably fucked you and still wants to fuck you.

STAGE 3: Does'nt answer your call-waiting and does'nt return your call after existing call: Either looking to drop you or your freshness has evaporated. Probably had enough of fucking you.

STAGE 4: Does'nt answer your call waiting and does'nt return your call: He's had enough of you AND fucking you. Even sex can't help you now.

**The good news is not all relationships reaches STAGE 4.

**The smart girls prolongs STAGE 1 before proceeding to STAGE 2.

**The REALLY smart girls makes the relationship stays at STAGE 2 for good

**The act-smart girls will go from STAGE 1 directly to STAGE 4 in seconds.

As you can see, although men think with their dicks, if you know how to fondle them correctly, you'll have us by our balls.

Happy ballsing!

What The Fuck's Taking You So Long?

26 years ago, after a routine medical checkup in school, I was instructed to have my foreskin removed. I was too young to understand circumcision and to protest against it.

Yesterday, I googled "circumcision" and found out that the founding reason for circumcision was to stop boys masturbating. How does circumcision help in that? Well, apparently by removing my beloved foreskin, the surgeon actually removed 20 to 80% of sexually sensitive tissues.

WTF?!?!? That means 20 to 80% of pure pleasure was removed from my life!

After all these years, I finally realise why I took so long to cum. I have to fucking work twice as hard as un-circumcised dicks to reach the promise land. While the girls love me fucking them for eternity (let's just say I take longer than an episode of "Friends" and sometime "Lost"), I've never really enjoyed the fuck-a-thons. So what if the chicks dig it? I'm taking eons to cum!

Sadly, I've never had sex with my foreskin intact. I can only imagine the absolute pleasure of shagging with that extra 20-80% of sexually sensitive tissues.

My foreskinned brothers, be grateful...be very, very grateful...

Now, That's What I Call A Decade

I entered primary school in 1980, hence, I was old enough and lucky enough to remember that very special decade known as the 80's. Back then, games, fashion, hair dos and entertainment were so much more fun.

Games in school were batteries free and involved everyone. Catching, hide and seek, chatek, hatum bola....we did not participate in zero point but RuiYing told me once that he was excellent in that (no wonder he turn out like this).

I remember my very first favourite cartoon being G-Force (shown on Channel 8 at 530pm in 1982). My hero was the dude standing on the left in the back row (see above). This fella was thought to have died in a previous battle but emerged in the middle of the season in a way-too-cool automobile to thrash the baddies. I was impressed...

Thereafter, MASK (Mobile Armoured Strike Kommand), Transformers and He-Man were our favourites. The merchandise that came with these cartoons were also must-haves for all of us. MASK (see above) in particular, really captured my imagination. Grimlock (see below) was my favourite transformer, simply because he was dumb but powerful. I've always associated with people like that.

Every June and October, when the examinations were over, we were allowed to bring board games to school. Those were the best of times, the sheer thought of going to school just for fun and games made one wake up before the alarm rang. Monopoly, Cluedo, PayDay, Life were the common fare but our favourite was RISK. This game thought us lots; geography (we knew where Madgascar was before the recent cartoon), collaboration (signed treaty), cheat (always an opportunity to add an army when no one is looking) and back-stab (what treat?).

As we moved into secondary school, we became more aware of fashion trends (or so we thought). From ESPRIT to IXIS (shirts, pencil case, you gotta have them all), from orange gal kid to BASE jeans (rememer those? there were baggy jeans with tappered bottoms).

In 1987, George Michael went solo and launched his Faith album. His music was brilliant and his image stirred the rebel in me (this was way before we knew he actually plays backsides). I wanted to look like him, I must look like him. For the next function (private dance invites to those too young to remember), I did look like him (stop laughing). I bought the cheapest leather (synthethic) jacket, put huge safety pins down one arm and was on my way. There was this girl at the function that actually digged my look and came up to me and offered me her cigarette. Although I was'nt smoking at that time, I had to take a puff because it was my image.

I remember watching the 1984 Grammy Awards on telly on a Sunday and that fucking Michael Jackson blew my fucking mind. Music back then were so much more fun to dance to, the lyrics were silly and optimistic. We were having the cold war but so what? Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now because Heaven Is A Place On Earth. Sometimes we were confused because they asked us to Shout and at the same time have Careless Whisper. So put your worries behind, Let's Go and Dance On The Ceiling. We are the Love Of The Common People, look at that Man In The Mirror and know that You're My Favourite Waste Of Time.

Movies in the 80's mirrored the the music. Fun, silly, optimistic. I wanted to be an archeologist after watching Indiana Jones, go on my own adventure with my pals after watching The Goonies, visit cemetries after watching Ghostbusters, get detained after watching The Breakfast Club and eat off the fridge after watching 9 1/2 weeks.

No one can ever put me down of my age because I was a child of the 80s

Watashiwafuckyouneh?

The hobbitses just came back from Japan and RuiYing has been telling the charms of Jeepoon girls. The way he describe to me, I can feel his saliva splattering through the phone.

Too bad they went with their girlfriends, see no touch. I know RuiYing sure cannot tahan at night one. Maybe he drugged his girlfriend then went out and have some sashimi secretly. Must smell his breath when I see him, sure got fishy smell.

Anyway, he insisted that we must all go Japan together in future. He will get to know some new Jeepoon friends thru internet before we go conquer the land of our rising dicks. The last time he did that was when we went on our pilgrimage to Bangkok. The girls he managed to hook us up with were real "beauties"....

Your Home No Bed Is It?

Went to MOS for the 1st time on Monday with MeiHwa, Colleen, Conny and some girls. Don't know what's the big fucking deal about MOS, I find it average and the air-conditioning sucks big time, especially in all those tiny rooms. Give me Zouk on a Wednesday anytime.

Anyway, MeiHwa made a calculated investment and it did not pay dividends. He was chooped by Yvonne the whole night (they were literally stuck together like Chang&Eng) and he allowed it. Can you imagine them slow dancing/swaying to gansta rap/hip-hop? It was so un-MeiHwa but I have to say things were definitely looking rosy for him. Surely, he's getting some cheebye action later....or so we thought.

From MeiHwa's Ops Report, Yvonne actually went over to his home and literally just slept with him! Ganinabaychaocheebye, what kind of girls go over to a dude's place and just sleep? Can any kind soul please explain this to me? When you come home with me after a night of grind-dancing, I expect penetrative sex.

Maybe Yvonne is playing her cards the ol' fashion style - I let you fuck so soon, you will disappear just as soon. But honey, our koo koo jiaos wait for no one, we will definitely disappear when there is no promise land in sight. Your call, baby.

I also need to remind myself never to dance with Julia again, at least not in public. She dances like C3PO (See above) with termites in his circuits. Fucking embarrassing...